Today’s offering was mostly about reflection, I tried to think of what I might be able to do today for Loki, but struggled to think of something more than just closely examining how far I have come, where I used to be, and the closeness of my brother J’s struggle to my own.
I realized part of why J’s struggle has been hard for me to disconnect from is because I see everyone treat him as if he is me. The same responses, actions, punishments, and words are repeated to the limit of usefulness.
I worked on his prayer beads, and after several tries, created a mini mala that is easily carried/hidden as needed. I used hematite beads, black stone beads, cobalt blue beads, a color to represent each element, a smoky quartz bead, and a bone feather bead (pictures to come later) He has shown an interest in Wicca, so I wanted to create something he could feel comforted by, connected to, and inspired by.
Unfortunately any writing I had planned went out the window when I had to take a trip into the ER for a pelvic infection that has laid me out in cramping agony. I will be doing my best to get better, but the pain and illness reminded me of my priorities. I need to make sure I care for myself, or I am no use (or worse) to anyone else, including my Gods.
I spent several hours of my night praying to Loki that the sudden, crippling pain wasn’t something serious or life threatening, and thanking Him once we learned what was going on. We had been scared that I might have become pregnant again, and were relieved to find out that was not the case.
Now to sleep and recover.