I have been mulling over what to write for awhile now, but I didn’t really know what I wanted to say. Every time I sat down to write, it seemed that life and all of its different facets of craziness reared its heads and roared for my attention.
We stayed home and created our own Thanksgiving traditions, instead of dealing with my bio-donors and all the related drama. Both my donors did try to visit on the sly via my sister and her boyfriend’s visit, but we stayed strong in avoiding the drama and emotional manipulation that was pouring off them all in waves.
I felt as though I was seeing them and their behaviors for the first time, instead of feeling pulled into the situation, I was able to watch with an detached logic that kept me from being mired down again.
Being able to look at it from an outsider’s perspective is rather strange, but also fascinating. We were able to enjoy a delicious dinner of crockpot beef and gravy, baked veggies (carrots, red skinned potatoes and broccoli), stuffing, cheesy biscuits, mashed potatoes, and mashed squash/sweet potatoes. It was delicious, and we are still eating leftovers. We also discussed what we were thankful for, including yummy food, our home, warm clothing, fun toys and movies, each other, and so much more.
My eldest daughter J had been on some new medication, but due to the lovely side-effect of increased aggression and ADHD symptoms, we had to discontinue it. *sigh* Back to the drawing board on that… It was supposed to help her sleep, instead it made her wake up every night to eat constantly (another side-effect), stare off all the time, and generally removed any form of risk assessment she had prior.
My youngest V has been teething and dealing with weather related congestion, runny nose, and whatnot for a couple weeks now. This makes me her booby-buddy, and I haven’t been able to set her down for more then a few seconds before she realizes she isn’t latched on.
My 3 year old C has been talking more each day, and trying to test the boundaries of EVERYTHING, and because she doesn’t realize her own strength, rough-housing with everyone. I had to give her a haircut this past week because we were worried she was turning her head into a squirrel’s nest, but she looks adorable now.
I had to stop taking my PRN anti-anxiety meds after trying them to manage my panic attacks, it caused a paradoxical reaction and made me have them without fail for days. Once I stopped using them, I felt clear-headed and able to talk myself back into the present if i had a moment of panic or a flashback to my past. I felt in control again, and it is a nice feeling, especially compared to the grasp of icy fear that would wind its way around my chest.
My husband just published a book through Kindle, and I am so proud of him, he is an amazing writer. I got to help edit and brainstorm for the story he wrote. This is his blog with all the info about his story. (hint: click the link, you will enjoy it :D)
In short, things have been both crazy and wonderful, and I am going to try to write every day, I miss writing each day like I was able to during the month for Loki.
Also, WordPress tells me this is my 100th post, huh, what do you know… How cool is that?