Sooo, here I am again. Still alive.

Yea, I can’t say I forgot that I had this blog, considering how much of my time it has consumed in the past.

However, I just couldn’t bring myself to want to write here.

My internal anxieties aside, I felt as though I had nothing more to say.

At the beginning of my blogging experience on WordPress, I fitted myself with a hefty mission statement, and charged out the gate.

And now?

Now I look around at my life, and can barely see the person who started writing 3 years ago.

Without the need to post constantly, and to shape my online presence into something so far-reaching, I found that so much dross fell away and crumbled to dust.

My very identity has shifted into someone who doesn’t fit any of my previous labels, frames of reference, masks, hats, or other energy-based attire.

The primary directive that I was given from Loki and His kin has tapered off into silence, leaving me to scratch my head and try to shape something new out of the shadows around me.

Am I Lokean? Sort of. My bond with Loki is still there, but for the most part, I feel as though He has passed through my life like a fiery whirlwind that left deep hills of ash for new life to sprout in.

His influence helped me see my strengths that included artistic abilities I stopped trusting, singing, writing, cooking, and even completing college classes under pressure.

I am busily working on my college courses, this semester has shown me that I do not like Accounting. I thought I did, but the reality of it and all the difficulties attached to it sent me into a nervous breakdown last weekend.

Not fun at all.

Oddly enough, I am learning that I do enjoy math, particularly the Pre-Algebra I am learning now. This kind of math, compared to the inane, confusing math used in Accounting is worlds away from each other.

I began practicing Cartomany more and more these past few months, working with a number of different decks, with surprising results.

Tarot and Oracle decks are no longer a huge, confusing, mass of symbols and meaning that I don’t understand.

I have had fun adding different kinds of decks to my collection, some that I never would have imagined buying.

But they work.

Sometimes with scarily accurate results.

I like this strengthened skill, having felt like I was failing in the past when confronted by a deck of cards.

These months have shown me that not only is Math a strength for me, but divination is as well.

In order to keep my Cartomancy skills moving forward, I have been participating in a Tumblr activity called “The Spreadaday Challenge” where you perform one reading each day for the entire month of October.

Anyways… I wanted to break radio silence here in an effort to overcome that inner scolding tone that kept reminding me that I was neglecting my blog. And to tell everyone how excited I was about learning new skills.

I am hoping to use my new-found divination skills to determine where I am meant to go next. So far, the cards have had interesting messages about that. (More about my UPG on that next time.)

For now, this is enough. Hello WordPress readers, I haven’t forgotten about you.

About darkbookworm13

I am a proud mom to 3 beautiful girls, and married to the love of my life. I have been a practicing Witch since the summer of 2003, having studied many different paths over the years, ranging from Wicca, Goddess only worship (courtesy of StarHawk), Eclectic Paganism, Kitchen Witchcraft, Norse Paganism, Hearthcraft, Spiritual Luciferianism, and more. I have worked with the Futhark runes, Brian Froud's Faeries Oracle deck, Tarot decks, and I am currently working on a customized divination set based on collected items. I like to work with herbs, and gardening. I crochet and make handicrafts like wood burned items, paintings, drawings, toys, and hand sewn doll clothes for my daughters. The only title I call my spiritual path is Witchcraft, as using magic entwines deeply with the worship of the Gods who call me Their own. My Patron deity is Loki, who has chosen me as His kin.
This entry was posted in College, Divination, Loki, Tarot and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Sooo, here I am again. Still alive.

  1. beanalreasa says:

    Glad to see you again

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